On Friday a friend of mine asked me for advise on how she could create more structure in her home. She was referring to a schedule that would hopefully help her to not be as impatient with her kids. Patience can be strengthened in lots of ways and is something we parents are constantly working on.
In addition, she is exactly right, a lack of a routine can create an environment of disorder and lead to impatience. This is my advice:
Routine is awesome, but it must be followed to be effective. Obedience is often linked to the amount of respect the follower has for the leader. The mom does not wins her child’s respect BY YELLING, OR PUNISHING, OR DOMINATING. A parent gains respect by keeping her word, by setting a good example of following the family rules herself, and by loving each child – respecting each child – helping each one feel understood and appreciated.
To be happy all humans need to work and to be loved. – Sigmund Freud
So, set family rules and a routine that accomplishes your goals and stick to it. Live it WITH your kids. Compliment them, listen to them, don’t always say “no,” and be as consistent as you can be.
Success in your home is really up to you. How badly do you want to be a great parent? Actually, I bet you are already a great parent. Being a mom was my ultimate goal as a youth, is the most important part of my life right now, and will probably be the period of time I look back on the most as an old lady. I WANT TO BE A GREAT PARENT. So, I decided a long time ago, that only second to God, My life is for my kids. Each day isn’t for me, it is for my kids – not to make sure they have everything they want and are happy all the time, but to take whatever time or effort is necessary for them to be learning and growing to be responsible, faithful, contributing adults.
I think that good parents keep the long term or big picture in mind when making decisions, so I try to do the same. This is why I pack my kids a lunch (to show love and magnify my calling as nurturer), but make them do their own laundry (starting when they are 14 years old to develop independence). This is why I expect them to go to church every Sunday (to ground them in truth), but let them make many many other choices on their own (to strengthen their self-respect).
“The home is the first and most effective place for children to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self-control; the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home.” – David O. McKay
It isn’t easy, but my family is worth my best attention and purposeful effort. Your family is worth your best attention and purposeful effort. One place to start is with a simple routine/guideline to follow throughout your day. Commit yourself and reap the benefits of more order and peace… and hopefully more patience.
Q and A: